2nd June 2022
When you are dishonest you tell two lies one to the other and one to yourself to justify. Reflecting on times I have personally been dishonest or noticed it in people it has been deep rooted in fear, whether we know it or not (the latter probably being the most common).
It may be because we would like a future outcome to turn out a certain way so we distort or hide certain facts or to avoid confrontation and conflict which leads to an even further build up later on. How can we build a clear and meaning full life based on lies? Building something based on truth can stand in a storm while something that is false will collapse. Not only for saying something false but also intentionally withholding information. This can be for something small but also for major circumstances. Not only externally but on an internal level, the heavy burden of guilt, resentment and over thinking occurs. There is some wisdom in the quote ‘the truth will set you free’.
Noticing avoidance, fear and uncertainty is key, then taking time to focus, accept and understand it is the next step. When we can do this we begin to make something that is unconscious conscious and we can begin to understand ourselves better and hopefully communicate ourselves better externally. Instead of being stuck in our thought loop of what we want we can instead dedicate some mental space to empathise and understand the others point of view.
As long as dishonest intentions and behaviour show, aware or not it will keep causing suffering until it becomes unbearable and the individual understands and wants to prevent the consequences. Self-preservation of identity, ideas and our sense of selves is a strong survival instinct. However as long as we are in the protective and defensive mode it will be hard to unravel the complex layers of dishonesty due to attachment. It takes a great deal of courage to admit dishonesty but in the long run it is worth it. It is amazing how telling the truth can be liberating, lighten your mood and keep you grounded to your deep values.
Genuine people no matter what culture are relaxed, open to read like a book and generally just comfortable people to be around. It can be hard in the moment when in a pressured & emotional situation but it is something that we can all work towards. Working on this will build deeper, stronger and more trustworthy relationships in all aspects of life.
Honesty & transparency underpins all healthy relationships, like foundations of a house. When two honesty people or an organisation come together in truthful living they become like a mountain range, impenetrable, immovable & of course impressive. As with everything all individuals have their specific flaws but we can help each other overcome them as long as we are willing to listen and reflect 🙂
-Jhoty
Jhoty 