7th July 2023
“My beloved friend, tell me how you are feeling?”
Next time you feel scathed by some cutting comment or event you can ask yourself this question. Often people around us are unconcious and hurt beforehand, closing themself of into stories to protect their own perspectives. Have you ever heard the following uttered:
“You never listen!”, “You always only care about yourself”
Never & always show absolute statements. While they seem powerful and ‘truths’ they are in reality shakey structures that the hurt person inside is holding onto, punching out blindly to protect them self. Perhaps they are not getting enough attention or perhaps indeed they feel they cannot express themself. As we know from IFS the inner child/exile is protected fiercly by the protector. In this way one can rise above their own hurt and see themself and the other with compassion without the game of offense-defense.
To the person listening these remarks can fall of like a raindrop or bite like a poisonous snake. The venom bypassing their concious rattling the subconcious, ensnaring it without room to breath or even think. Before you know it your protector/critic takes over. The fight begins. After the unconcious subconcious exchange, emotional bruising and turmoil is left. Effects on the body evident via elevated hormones and a stressed nervous system which may manifest as physical ailments.
Converse to Hippocrates advice, in this instance let the poisonous bite of the others words be thy medicine. Let it be a sweet nectar gift to follow inwards, where does it lead internally? The hurt inner child may need support, perhaps it does not seem validated, good enough, supressed. The support can only come from you, the self. Without the support everything may seem like being bitten by sharp fangs, and exteremly sensitive. This is the power and compassion of emotional intelligience.
So tell me my beloved friend, how you are feeling?
Mittar Pyare Nu Haal Mureedan da Kehna
-Jhoty 🙂
Jhoty 